Wurzel's World

We Have Moved

2011-03-19T13:53:00.000Z

This blog -like it's author - has fallen into a state of total neglect

A new re-incarnation can now be found at

Wurzel's Web

All visitors old and new will be welcome there

Please shut the door on your way out

and wipe you feet before entering the new one

A Nice Little Bonus .... Gone

2010-07-22T14:02:00.000+01:00

Two weeks ago I checked my online utility bills and was pleased to see that those really nice people at British Gas were sending me £184.51, being a surplus balance that had built up on my account.

Within a week, the oven had blown up, the washing machine packed up and the garden fence blown down.

So that's that little bonus gone before I get it then.

A Fantastic Find During A Walk In The Forest

2010-04-26T12:32:00.004+01:00

On Sunday me and Mrs W took a walk in the New Forest. Following a route devised by the National Park themselves, directions got a bit vague and we found ourselves on the wrong path. Lucky for us we did for suddenly we spotted a couple of deer about 50 feet away through some trees. We stopped immediately, and as we watched realised there was more, at least eight of them. We managed to move a few paces to get a clearer view and the simply stood watching them for a couple of minutes. They knew we were there, at all times at least two were keeping an attentive eye on us, but clearly didn't feel threatened by us. I managed to get the following video of them watching us watching them - they finally ran off when we decided to see if we could approach any closer.

We are used to seeing animals in places like Marwell Park, but to see so many wild animals so close up in their natural habitat was a moving experience.

Remember These ?

2010-04-20T08:52:00.000+01:00

Spotted on my way to work. It was heading south . Taken at Weston Shore Southampton 8:45am today
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More Songs Should Have Whistling In Them

2010-04-16T13:03:00.002+01:00

My current favourite

That Lucky Feeling

2010-04-14T18:59:00.000+01:00

This morning, for no apparent reason, I woke with one of those "It's going to be my lucky day" type positive vibes. On my way to work I stopped to buy some milk, outside the shop was a guy selling The Big Issue. Such was my feel good factor I not only gave him £2 and told him to keep the change but also an extra £1 and told him to buy himself a lottery ticket. I carried on to work with mixed emotions of feeling good and wondering what the hell had come over me!

I got home this evening and waiting for me in today's post was an envelope I didn't recognise. I opened it and found a cheque from the Premium Bonds people for £25. Happy days :-) My "feeling" was obviously more of a "premonition". Then I turned it over and spotted the bit that said the winning bond was in the name of my daughter (the cheque has to be payable to me till she's 16 ) Not so happy days :-( I rarely have much spare cash at the best of times but that has to be the quickest in with one hand and out with the other ever, even by my standards.

Still, I'm pleased for her (I even smiled through gritted teeth as I exchanged the cheque for cash for her) but I've bought myself a lottery ticket for tonight. Just in case. £17,000,000 triple roll-over , and after all today isn't over yet.

2D or not 2D

2010-04-10T22:43:00.001+01:00

Thanks to a busy spell and a crashed laptop a few things I would no doubt have blogged on have gone un-Wurzeled since my last blog. Like Saints getting to Wembley again and winning a trophy - great day out; a couple of new babies born to friends and family:; small matter of a general election announced; my Mum discovering she needs a heart by-pass; the start of the cricket season to name but a few.

But back up to date. Last night I went to the new Imax screen at the Odeon to see Alice in Wonderland. Not a film I was particularly fussed about (Mrs W's choice) but it was my first chance to experience not only the huge Imax screen, but also my first of the modern 3d movies.

At over £12 a ticket (including the booking fee - why am I charged 75p a ticket for the privilege of saving the cinema the need for any employee to serve me?) I was expecting something special. Apparently it was. From the opening credits Mrs W was oohing and aahing, occasionally even dodging and ducking. I, meanwhile sat watching and wondering what the fuss was about. The trouble was that I have one eye that is much weaker than the other. It's not blind, if I close the good one I still have vision in the weak one, but for purposes of focusing my brain simply ignores it. This can make perception of depth difficult, as an optician explained once if i lined up a snooker shot I'd have no way of gauging the distance between cue and object balls. I don't play much snooker, but was relieved to find that it wasn't imagination that, when playing cricket I can stand there bat in hand, watch the ball leave the bowlers hand and see (or rather not see) it disappear half way between bowler and me, only to hear the dreaded noise of ball hitting stumps a split second later. But I digress. The same problem, I now discover only after paying my £12, prevents me from seeing a 3D film. I tired all sorts during the movie, crossed eyes, special glasses on, off, upside down, back to front - nothing made any difference. If you ever watch a 3D film shut one eye for a while, you'll see what I see. It's still perfectly watch-able (with the special glasses) but no different than watching a normal film.

Mrs W told me it was fantastic and never wants to bother with an ordinary film again. I guess we'll be parting company at the screen doors next time we visit the cinema.

Normal Service To Be Resumed

2010-04-06T15:14:00.000+01:00

Thanks to my laptop hitting it's self destuct button blogging opportunities have been severely restricted recently.

A new one has been aquired, which includes Windows 7. So normal service will hopefully be resumed as soon as I have found my way around it.

The Boathouse

2010-02-27T21:46:00.004Z

Boathouse, Trevarno, originally uploaded by Wurzel.

Sometimes a photo comes out even better than you hoped.
This is The Boathouse at Trevarno.
Definitely one of my better efforts.
2 days later the camera broke - I hope the replacement will achieve comparable results

Payback

2010-02-26T09:54:00.001Z

Less than a year ago Pompey fans were revelling in Saints possible (and for a while it looked probable) demise. Today the boot is on the other foot. It's our turn to enjoy their suffering, I'm sure there will be plenty more where this came from.

The Curse Of The Apostrophe

2010-02-21T21:45:00.000Z

SPOT THE DIFFERENCE

St Mary's Stadium, Southampton.

Where Southampton were playing local rivals Portsmouth last Saturday.

Attendance at the match (including a good many of my friends) 31,385

Atmosphere on the day: Red hot & volatile

St Marys, Isles of Scilly

Where my wife took me for a surprise birthday helicopter trip on the day of the above mentioned match.

Population of whole Island 1,666

Atmosphere on the day : Sleepy to comatose.

What a difference an apostrophe can make.

(To be fair it was a wonderful trip and we spent a lovely day wandering around the island, sampling the local hostelries etc)

Que Sera Sera

2010-02-11T10:02:00.001Z

Whatever will be will be

We're going to Wembley

Que Sera Sera *

Yes, Southampton FC have made it to Wembley for the final of the Johnstones Paint Trophy. I'll be there on 28th March watching team for the fifth time at Wembley in a different competion each time - FA Cup, Charity Shield, League Cup, Full Members (ZDS) and now Football League Trophy (JPT).

We're still in the FA Cup of course, only 2 matches away from another Wembley appearance or two, plus still in with a chance, although admittedly a fading chance at the moment, of yet another appearance there in a Play-off final at the end of the season.

We're only even in the JPT ( a competition for teams in the lower 2 leagues ) because of the severe mismanagementof the previous few years culminating in 2 relegations and our near extinction beforebeing rescued at almost the last minute. But since then we have the air of a club on the up, crowds increasing, and setting new records as the highest crowd ever in every round of the JPT we have played in (and would no doubt sell out Wembley on our own if they'd give us all the tickets.) Compare and contrast with our neighbours down the road who appeared at Wembley themselves less than 2 years ago and will now be grateful to even exist by the end of next week.

Football, as they say, is a funny old game.

*Should have been a video here of 29500 people singing this as the final whistle approached, until I watched it and realised how much my hand was shaking at the time !

Grey Matter

2010-02-06T12:00:00.001Z

For the third time this week I've been asked if I am my Dad.

Maybe it's time that the bottle of Grecian 2000 given to me by friends for a joke (well I thought it was a joke anyway) a couple of years ago, that I refused to use (but never threw away either, just in case) finally comes out of the cupboard.

A Different Kind Of Anarchy

2010-02-02T09:48:00.001Z

Anarchy in the UK by the Sex Pistols is always in my top 3* when naming my favourite singles off all time (* exact position may vary depending on mood at time of list compilation).

Also I love seeing cover versions of any songs performed in styles different from the originaI.

I also love piss takes

So imagine my delight when I stumbled across this on YouTube. Simply brilliant

Topo Returns

2010-01-22T12:47:00.001Z

The name Topo Gigio is suddenly back in the news. "Who? " I hear you ask.

Topo Gigio was the main character in a childrens' tv puppet show that I used to watch back in the 1960s . Apparently he's Italian, although I didn't know that at the time , I guess he must have been dubbed for us English fans.

I used to have a toyTopo Gigio about 6 inches tall, and whilst that must have been despatched to the great toy box in the sky long long ago, the name has always stuck in the back of my mind (to the extent that I actually asked for a bottle of it once when shopping for a bottle of wine, only to receive blank looks from the woman in the off licence).

Suddenly, after about 40 years he's in the news. Why?

On Tuesday Carlos Tevez scored for Manchester City against his old team and City's great rivals Manchester United. His "celebration" was to run to a spot in front of the United bench and stand stock still, hands cupped behind his ears.

No doubt warned, after the event, of the dim view that the FA takes of anything that they consider to "bring the game into disrepute" he came up with the first excuse he could think of - namely that his celebration was in fact in honour of Topo Gigio.

Whilst Tevez is working wonders for my Fantasy Football team at the moment, I know which one I would sooner have sat on my toy shelf as a child.

Fog Blog

2010-01-19T08:35:00.002Z

For no other reason than to check to see how mobile blogging works on my new phone. A foggy scene on the way to work this morning.
EDIT from PC:
1) I works, easily and virtually instantly
2) It adds annoying adverts at the end of the blog, which I can (have) remove later.
3) Nokia 5800 has a crap camera

No Title Required

2010-01-12T09:39:00.001Z

(Shamelessly "borrowed" from Steve Green's Daily Referendum Blog)

Why Can't Girls Throw ?

2010-01-11T13:19:00.012Z

It's a known fact, white men can't dance, girls can't throw*.

During a walk in the snow yesterday with Mrs Wurzel, shesuggested that a good photo would be one of her throwing a snowballstraight at the camera. "Ok", I thought, "We'll see".

Igot her nicely lined up in a ready to throw pose and told her to aimstraight at the camera. "Won't I damage it ?" she asked. It was a risk Iwas prepared to take.

Through the viewfinder I saw the snowball leave her hand, sail upwards and out of shot , with no idea where it landed. "No, aim AT the camera" I told her.

The following 5 minutes reminded me of the never-ending loop programmes we wrote at school back in the mid 70s. (We thought that such a programme would eventually blow-up the computer - disappointingly it never did)

10 Me: Aim camera

20 Mrs W : Throw snowball

30 Me: Say "Aim at camera"

40 Goto 10

There was one "mishap" when one snowball I never saw first nor last hit me fair and square in the - in cricket parlance - box region. Curiously, and I am not making any accusations here, that one seemed to have more force behind it than the others.

Eventually, I managed to end up with the shot below,probably more by luck than judgement. I use it as an example to justify the story, not because of any artistic merit. Not quite the dramatic shot I hoped for, but if I stood there any longer I'd have started to freeze.

* with apologies to Tessa Anderson and Fatima Whitbread

Not Snow Much As Promised

2010-01-08T09:54:00.000Z

Following on from previous post, as usual, the severe weather suddenly diverted before it reached here. Having said that it is still the most snow we've had for years and it doesn't show much signs of thawing i the near future.

Tuesday evening I had to go out aound the time the bulk of the snow hit. The main roundabout near us became grid-locked and I decided to turn round and go home. A good decision as it turned out because half a mile further on and I'd have been in the middle of THIS .

Eventually we got about 10cms, nowhere near the "up to 40cms" we were warned of. Apart from the few hours of blizzard, driving is pretty easy as long as you're a) sensible and b) can reach the well cleared main roads without encountering any icy hills on the way. All the local schools(including the one where Mrs Wurzel works, she's already tearing her hair out through boredom) have remained closed for 3 days. Why? In my school-days the school only closed if the boilers packed up - if it snowed you just got out your gloves and wellies and got on with it. What lesson does it teach kids today ?- at the first sign of adversity, give up.

Plenty more snow forecast for Saturday and Sunday - we shall see. I might get out to play in it yet.

Snow ! (?)

2010-01-05T15:44:00.003Z

Here, just outside Southampton, we often watch the weather reports of snow around the country in total incomprehension as yet again not a single snow-flake dares venture within several miles of home.. So it's with mixed feelings of excitement and trepidation to see the Met Office warning for our area this evening.

Flash warnings of severe or extreme weather

These are issued when the Met Office has 80% or greater confidence that severe weather is expected in the next few hour

London & South East England:
Hampshire
Oxfordshire
Southampton
W Berkshire
Very Heavy Snowfall

2000 Tue 5 1100 Wed 6

There is a high risk of an extreme weather event affecting parts of Southern England this evening and overnight. A period of exceptionally heavy snowfall is expected with accumulations of 15-30 cm and perhaps in excess of 40 cm. This is expected to cause widespread disruption to the transport network and could lead to problems with power supplies.

The public are advised to take extreme care and refer to the HighwaysAgency for further advice on traffic disruption on motorways and trunkroads.

Issued at: 1135 Tue 5 Jan

It's goning to be interesting pulling back the curtains tomorrow morning !

Let The Annual Battle Commence

2009-12-12T10:08:00.001Z

Last night we put up the Christmas tree . Well I say we, I sat back and let Mrs and L'il Wurzels get on with it. A fine job they made of it too. With 2 cats in the house, how long will it last.?

In 2007 we had a fake tree and the 2 (at the time) five month old kittens came out resounding winners.

Last year we had a real tree, and whilst the lowest decorations came in for a bit of "feline attention" the tree (maybe because of it's natural smell or spikier needles) was treated with a bit more respect - that one went down as a score draw.

This year it's a real tree again, and the cats are a year lazier. William Hills have refused to offer me odds, but this year I'd bet on a no score draw. They watched with interested whilst it was put up but 12 hours later I got up this morning to find it untouched. But of course it's not all over till the fat lady sings (or in this scenario Jools Holland's Hootenanny is over) ........... they're probably planning some sort of joint attack strategy as I type.

An Eye-Opening "Must Read" Book

2009-11-28T14:21:00.000Z

I make no secret of the fact that I think the UK would be better off making our own rules and decisions and letting Europe get on with messing itself up but even for me this book was an eye-opener.

The book is written in two parts, one putting Britain's membership of the EU in historical context, along with statistics as to where the money goes and how much being in the EU is costing each and every one of us (pretty shocking statistics even for an already convinced Eurosceptic like myself).

The second part describes several accounts of how people and industries in different walks of life have fared in a fictitious Britain in 2020, having left the EU 10 years previously. It doesn't make out everything would be plain sailing if it happens but the benefits all seem realistic, and , in many cases plain, common sense. The conclusion seemed to be pretty much what I have always thought which, in my own non-political type speak is, if we make stuff they want to buy, the EU will still trade with us whether we are members or not, and vice versa, but without us having to be ruled by them.

Clearly I am going to enjoy a book which not only agrees with but actually enhances my own views, but having an open mind would like to read an account offering an alternative view, if one exists. At the moment the only benefit of EU membership or the UK that I can think of is if I went on a road trip around Europe I'd only have to change my sterling into one single currency.

The book is published by the Taxpyers Alliance, who are dedicated to ensuring we receive value for money for the taxes we pay , whether they be UK or EU imposed. They sent me it totally free of charge, order yours from HERE now, and open your own eyes to how much extra in taxes and shopping prices that you are paying to be a member of something that previous generations fought and died to keep us out of.

Not Really Appropriate

2009-11-24T13:42:00.000Z

On Sunday whilst stopping for a coffee during Xmas shopping inSouthampton's West Quay shopping centre I watched a few minutes of afund raising show being put on in aid of the charity Wessex Cancer .One particular guy was doing a pretty good Sinatra-esque performance.However, in view of the charity involved he could of made a betterchoice of song than " I've Got You Under My Skin".

Not to beoutdone, not that she was liklely to have seen it, on her Radio 2 showyesterday morning Sarah Kennedy dedicated a record to the flood victimsin Cumbria, and sympathetically chose Susan Boyle singing "Cry Me ARiver".

You Can't Always Believe Your Eyes

2009-11-17T11:22:00.004Z

How cool is this?

I guarantee it won't be quite what you're expecting.

And once you've seen the ending you'll want to watch it again (and again) to work out all the other bits you never noticed first time round.

CHOP CUP from :weareom: on Vimeo.

Nick Griffin on BBC Question Time

2009-10-23T12:51:00.000+01:00

This country allows a right of free speech.Those protesting that the BNP should not be heard are far moredangerous to our society than the BNP will ever be. They like anyoneelse should have their say, then the public, who have more intelligencethan the UAF give them credit for, can vote as they see fit.

The BBC were right to have Nick Griffin on, he is the legitimateleader of a legitimate party. They were wrong to treaat the programmeas a lesson in character assassination, it is not what that programmeis about.

Having said that I thought he done himself no favours, came acrossas nervous, unsure of himself and even weaker as a leader than GordonBrown if that were possible. It was Griffins perfect opportunity todispel some of the myths about his party and give a reasonable argumentas to why they believe some of their policies are necessary - he hadhis chance and he blew it. By the way why are they referred to as farright? their views on immigration may be but if you take the time toactually read their policies instead of just those publicised by otherswith an axe to grind, in most other areas they are the furthest leftparty we have.

I heard the answer to the one question I was hoping to hear lastnight and it came from the Tory Sayeda Warsi (love her accent, what is itIslamcashire?) on immigration, basically they will have set numbers(could be none) each year depending on many factors such as discussionswith industry leaders as to how many employees are needed. (Not sure ifthis meant we could refuse other EU immigrants though). I don't want tosee minorities repatriated, just recognition that this is an Islandwith finite space and resources and can not support an infinitepopulation.

But the having said all that about Griffin, Jack Straw still managed to come across as the biggest knob on the panel.

A Picture (in this case a Video) Is Worth A Thousand Words

2009-10-13T11:53:00.002+01:00

I was going to post my disgust at the blatant propaganda, selective use of "facts", scare-mongering and brain-washing tactics of this government funded (for funded read our money wasted) television advert.

Then I realised there was no need. The following video sums up my feelings far better than any words I write could possibly manage.

Improved video courtesy of The Londn Fog

White Christmas ?

2009-10-13T10:44:00.004+01:00

At 8 a.m. this morning I left for work to find my car windscreen frozen over. Not up a mountain or in the Arctic Circle but on the sunny South Coast of England.

Can't remember it happening this early before. Global warming my arse, get your money on a White Christmas.

A Refreshing Change

2009-10-12T19:51:00.005+01:00

I've not blogged for a few days. There's plenty I could write about, the Internet only England match, MPs expensed revisited, the Strictly Factor attempts to out-scandal each other.

But no. There's something far more important. I have discovered Crabbie's Original Alcoholic Ginger Beer.

I picked up a couple of bottles on offer in a small corner shop thinking it would something different and worth a try, and if I didn't like it Mrs W likes ginger ale so it wouldn't go to waste. Two bottles later we were almost fighting over the last mouthful. This really is a ginger beer, not a ginger flavoured ale, and unlike some soft drinks it has the perfect amount of ginger to give it a real kick but without being overpowering. Refreshing drunk cool from the fridge ( we drank it straight, the label recommends a slice of lemon or lime) it also gives a warm glow as it goes down, so it's likely to be just as nice at room temperature on a cold winters evening. And at 4% alcohol a very pleasant way to spend an evening I'd imagine. Maybe I'll get a bottle of their Ginger Wine as well for those more "sophisticated" occasions

My next mission is to find a local pub stocking it. I can't imagine the big mega-brewery owned pubs would touch it, but if anyone knows of any proper pubs serving it in the Hampshire area please leave a comment. Oh, and if anyone from Crabbie's is reading and has any free samples available .....

Bye Bye Brown

2009-10-09T09:47:00.000+01:00

The present parliament MUST expire no later than Midnight, May 10th 2010.

Can it come quick enough ?

<a href="http://www.7is7.com/otto/countdown.html?year=2010&month=05&date=10&hrs=23&ts=24&min=59&sec=59&tz=local&lang=en&show=MWdhms&mode=r&cdir=down&bgcolor=%2366B5FF&fgcolor=%23000000&title=Bye%20Bye%20Brown">Bye Bye Brown</a>

Flying Down To Rio ?

2009-10-02T13:39:00.005+01:00

Today is decision day for the IOC to annonuce the host city for the 2016 Olympics. There are 4 contenders.

Chicago: Atlanta was generally accepted as the worst run games in living memory - Chicago could find themselves tarred with their brush. In fact they should be refused just to show Obama that not every thing he touches turns to gold (although I'm sure he'll be finding that out soon anyway, but that's a different issue) Also, any country that holds World Series in sports that only they take part in doesn't really understand the Olympic ideal.

Madrid: Surely not likely that a European city will be picked to follow London in 2012. Insistence that bull-fighting be included also likely to count against them. Also it's within driving distance of Germany which will mean delays in the swimming events whilst they clear the towels from around the pool

Tokyo: Asia is a huge continent but with recent games held in Beijing and Seoul it's too early for a return to that continent. Japanese always come up with rubbish mascots wich should also count against them big time. As should the little known fact that the Olympic rings translate, when written in Japanes characters, as "Your Mum".

Rio de Janeiro: The logical choice. The Olympics has never yet been held in South America, it's time they had their chance. City plagued by child street gangs but combining the marathon with the shooting events could help solve the problem in an exciting and entertaining way. Apart from football, Brazil is a country not renowned for sporting excellence so maybe their most famous resident of all time, Ronnie Biggs, could light the flame at the opening ceremony. Another advantage would be the chance of some new corporate sponsors, with Kleenex being the logical choice for Rio's beach volleyball tournament.

Yep, Rio gets my vote

TV Licence Warning

2009-10-01T14:43:00.001+01:00

I have always though that, notwithstanding the fact that it's compulsory, compared with a Sky or Cable TV subscription the BBC Licence Fee is grea value for money. But now they are taking the piss.

I recently had a letter from them at my place of work. One of those "we notice you don't have a licence, tell us why not" type letters. I didn't even bother reading it properly, just returned it stating none was required - after all there is no tv on the premises. After sending the reply I re-read the letter, it would appear that anyone with a laptop or pc with an internet connection now requires a licence as the BBC has now made it's content available live online. At home your existing licence would cover it, but apparently not at work.

How can this be fair? Both my laptop and PC at work are several years old and at the time they were purchased would have had to have used a separate TV tuner to show any programmes. Why should I now have to pay a licence fee just because the BBC have chosen to make some of their content available online? No-one asked me if I wished to make use of such a service. Surely it is not beyond the realms of their technical wizards to come up with a sign in system where you enter the serial number of your current licence as a password before their content can be viewed.

An acquaintance told me that he had a similar letter at a restaurant he ran, coincidentally within days of watching a live soccer match via his mobile (don't ask me how that works, I've no idea). It could of course have been a customers mobile that was being used without his knowledge but that didn't deter them from their enquiries. In that case it was conceded that the mobile was a battery operated device covered by his home licence. I don't ever recall watching any live BBC at work, (I-Player yes) possibly PMQs once or twice but no idea if that comes under the BBC banner or not. if it does, maybe that triggers off their investigation

Despite me returning the letter stating I don't need one, I received a reply which includes the following - "We'd therefore appreciate your help when one of our TV Licensing Officers visits you shortly." Almost sinister and threatening in it's tone. I can't help but read it in a "Ve haft vays ov making you talk" voice.

It seems that just as Channel Four decides to drop Big Brother, he is now alive and well and residing a the BBC.

(Hopefully this post can't be traced to my address, otherwise this could be the last you ever hear from me )

Gordon Brown - Has He Finally Lost The Plot ?

2009-09-30T15:10:00.000+01:00

Has Gordon Brown finaly lost it completely?

I'm happy to admit that I've never liked Labour, and I dislike Gordon Brown as a person even more. But even putting such bias aside, I can't help but wonder has this country ever had such a rude, arrogant, delusional, incompetent, self-contradictory, out of touch and out of his depth leader in it's history?

Just like I'm starting to feel sorry for a few Portsmouth supporting friends who are already resigned to relegation this season, I am actually starting to feel sorry for the rank-and-file grass rots labour membership. They must already be asking themselves what is the point of campaigning once the next election arrives with such a buffoon undermining any efforts they put in.

Here he is being interviewed by Adam Boulton this morning. Watch it, and remember - this man is in charge of our country! Gordon, there is a reason your name starts with the word GO.

First Sighting Of The Year

2009-09-23T14:52:00.002+01:00

Today, 23rd September at approximately 10.30 a.m. I had this years first sighting of Father Christmas. He went past my shop on the back of a lorry, waving and ringing his bell. Unfortunately I was too slow to get photographic proof, despite him going round the block and coming past again 5 minutes later.

Look out for Easter eggs, presumably coming to a shop near you soon.

Ow, Bloody L

2009-09-21T13:35:00.011+01:00

How quickly does our life pass us by? It only seems a short time ago that my eldest daughter was toddling off down the road for her first day at school. Now she's already got her own car and is currently taking driving lessons. Where did those years go?

Just before her birthday I was letting her drive my car round an empty car park near home to get the feel of thing before her first lesson with a proper instructor. Which, although she done OK for a first time behind the wheel, was pretty scary. A few short weeks later and we went out for a drive last night, already she seems confident and in control. I'm not a good passenger at the best of times but I felt quite relaxed with her driving.

She wanted to practice reversing into parking bays, so we headed for a car park not far from my shop. I've no idea why this car park was ever built, it's in an area where no one is ever likely to want to park and the only cars you ever see in there are learners practising. My Mum learned in there as did I and my brothers, now my daughter was making use of it, as were 2 others who were doing the same thing at the same time

Her reversing into bays was soon nice and straight and controlled but it seemed to me she was stopping well short, even though she thought she was reversing as far back as she could . So I decided to stand behind her whilst she reversed , telling her to stop when she thought she was within inches of my legs. First she stopped about 4 feet short which I indicated with my arms wide apart. She edged back a bit more but was still about 2 feet short, with me doing the appropriate "I caught one this big" with my hands. Now she thought it would be funny to scare me so she put her foot down and - much to her amusement and that of her little sister sat in the back - proceeded to drive straight over my foot!

Surprisingly the weight of a Ford Ka and two occupants didn't actually hurt very much and hasn't done any damage - at least none I can see although I do keep getting a funny tingling in my toes. It could have been worse, I thought I would be wearing flippers to work this morning. Once they'd stopped laughing her main concern was that I wouldn't be claiming any compensation from her insurance as she didn't want to lose her no claims bonus before she's even taken her test.

Still, as no examiner is likely to be stupid enough to stand behind an examninee (is that a word?) it's not a situation she's likely to encounter in her test, so hopefully she'll pass first time and soon she can drive her old Dad down the pub and buy him a pint by way of an apology. Except she won't be able to do the latter as she's not 18 till next summer - maybe time doesn't fly fast enough after all.

WurzelTip #2

2009-09-10T13:27:00.002+01:00

Last Sunday I dropped my mobile in a cup of tea. Don't ask how, I've no idea, I just watched as it jumped out of my hand, arced through the air in slow motion and landed dead centre with an almighty splash in a full cup of tea . Needless to say, one dead Nokia.

Hours of blasting it with a hair dryer finally resulted in it switching back on but no signal. Next day I stuffed it into my air conditioner vent for the day, giving it a constant blast of dry air. Still no signal and the phone was now behaving rather strangely.

Then a couple of people suggested sealing it in an airtight bag full of rice, rice being a gerat moisture absorber. I tried this, placing it on a radiator for good measure to add warmth and was surprised at quite how much condensation started to appear on the inside of the bag 2 days on from my first attempts at drying it out. The condensation vanished, obviously absorbed into the ice as predicted. By the end of the day I had a fully functioning phone again.

Derren Brown and The Lottey Numbers

2009-09-10T11:28:00.006+01:00

Last night was one of those intriguing pieces of television that you can't quite believe you saw, then spend hours thinking about it. Derren Brown, he of the great mind control act/tricks/illusions, call it what you will, was going to predict the nights Lottery numbers.

He couldn't reveal his prediction before they were drawn as, he claimed, the BBC have sole rights to revealing the numbers first. This immediately made me realise it was definitely some kind of trick, as many magazines carry fortune telling type predictions of the weeks numbers all the time. Instead he had a stand with six ping-pong sized balls in shot at all time, which, once the numbers had been announced, he turned to reveal that each ball was marked with a number. You can watch the entire programme here . Im sure I won't be spoiling the surprise by telling you he gets 6 out of 6 correct.

I love this type of trick/illusion/whatever, and I find Derren Brown fascinating to watch. I know it's not magic, nor (unlike a lot of his regular act) is it any kind of suggestion/mind control. It definitely wasn't a delayed transmission of the lottery, I had that on silmultaneously on the PC. So how was it done?

He has promised to show us how on Friday. Afer lots of theories which disprove themselves once I give them more thought I can only come up with one logical conclusion - a camera trick. The set up reminded me of this video of the team from the Real Hustle taking a boy into the Tardis which of course was much bigger inside than out. That was done by switching the right hand edge of the "from above" shot with a still photo after they had been seen to walk around it, hiding the back of the tardis opening up to allow them to enter a large set, unseen from the above. Last night the stand on the left containing the balls could similarly have been switched to a still shot after DB had walked around it, and switched back to the live shot just before he walks back to it, enabling the correct balls to be quickly placed on the stand unseen by the viewer as they were announced. The lack of an audience would add weight to this idea as do a couple of momentary apparent shot freezes at the relevant times.

I can't wait to see the reveal on Friday. If I've guessed it right I'll feel a bit smug but also a bit disappointed that such a great act needs to resort to camera trickery.

Pasing On The Reins - A Radio Legacy

2009-09-07T19:54:00.006+01:00

As a teenager I got up in the morning, ate breakfast and, reluctantly, left for school to the sound of Terry Wogan on the radio. Even as a teenager I loved his self effacing humour, his sarcasm and his dry, subtle wit.

30 years on I have spent the last few years waking up with him again - not quite true, the radio actually comes on during Sarah Kennedy's show but she is so boring it's Wogan that actually wakes me. Whilst on tv he appears slightly more rounded (don't we all) and more reliant on the toupee than I remember (allegedly), on the radio he doesn't seem to have changed one bit.

For me (and probably many others of my generation) he is more than an entertainer, he is an institution, and would be the first on my list of "if you could invite x number of famous people to dinner .... ". He broadcasts to in excess of 8.5 million listeners yet has that unique style that gives the impresssion that he is in the same room chatting with you. The audience interaction with his shows are possibly second to none, and certainly form an integral part of it's charm.

So it was with regret that I heard today that he is to stand down from the show from next year. There are some things in life that are hard to imagine not being there, and Terry in the morning is one of them. Having said that, it is definitely better to bow out at the top than to carry on untill you become a pale shadow of your former self.

He is to be replaced by Chris Evans. On tv years ago in shows like TFI Friday and The Big Breakfast Chris was, to put it bluntly, a total knob. But he has changed over the years and I have been a great fan of his Drivetime radio show for a couple of years now, possibly the most entertaining shows on radio. It's not clear at present if the whle team that help make up his present show will transfer to the breakfast slot or whether he will be hosting a totally new style show. I feel that Wogans legacy will be passed on into good and capable hands, my only reservation is whether I can handle such a lively bubbly personality so early in the morning.

When the NHS Works it Works Well

2009-09-07T14:43:00.005+01:00

On Saturday evening my daughter Li'l Wurzel came home claiming that her foot was too painful to walk properly. New school shoes had rubbed her heel, but as her sister pointed out, it hadn't stopped her walking around the shops, and Dad being Dad decided that she was just trying yet another excuse for me to do her paper round for her.

By Sunday morning even I was admitting that yes, it did look more than a little swollen and very hot and red. We had a birthday party to go to so we stayed for an hour before making our excuses and left, heading for the local NHS Walk-In Centre. Within 20 minutes she'd been seen, diagnosed with an infected blister that was still spreading up her leg and would get worse before it got better, wound dressed, advice given, course of anti-biotics dispensed, and on our way home. All done in a caring and friendly manner. A total contrast to tales of long waiting lists and people left unattended for hours.

Of course we could have just been lucky with the timing, it could yet be that they got it wrong and her leg falls off, but yesterdays experience was the NHS at it's best.

(If only they had a mobile phone department, maybe they'd be able to get my Nokia up and running again after it decided to dive into a cup if tea later the same afternoon.)

Gone West

2009-08-30T11:20:00.000+01:00

Our place near St Ives is not booked for the bank holiday so we made a late decision to spend a couple of days in Cornwall . Drove down after work yesterday and woke this morning to the seemingly now traditional grey sky and drizzle . No worries , a cider farm and the Newlyn Fish Festival sound like fun alternatives to the beach . (posted from my mobile just to see if it works )

Picnic In The Park

2009-08-27T21:41:00.004+01:00

PC time a bit restricted this week so a bit late with the blogging.

Once a year around this time of year we have a picnic at the local country park. Nothing formal, just a general invite to friends and family to be there at a certain time on a certain day. This Sunday was this years "event".

There was a bit of coming and going throughout the afternoon but in all close to 50 turned up. Someone up there was looking after us, the weather was perfect.

With picnic eaten and beers drunk it was time (for some anyway) for football, cricket, tennis, rounders and frisbee. All who took part in the (non competitive and to be honest not exactly strenuous) activities had great fun, but to a man, and woman, seemed to be suffering from aches and pains in various places the next day, not least myself. Perhaps my previous post regarding the need to exercise a bit more really was a timely reminder that a 47 year old body really can't carry on pretending to be 27 any more.

I really envy those every day people that manage to take part in events like the London Marathon. If I start training now maybe I'll be able to take part in next years game of rounders and actually score a run without needing to stop for a rest at third base.

Exercise Is Good For You

2009-08-22T13:23:00.002+01:00

The old middle-aged spread is starting to take a hold so I thought it's about time to partake in some regular exercise. Not too sure what it would do to my blood pressure though.

Tube Top Pilates - Watch more Funny Videos

Pure Vanity

2009-08-21T14:32:00.007+01:00

www.andygrace.co.uk

This blog can now be accessed via the much shorter and easier to remember address shown above.
Pure vanity, but at £5.98 for 2 years it's much cheaper than a personalised number plate. Especially as the one below, the best I can find, is available for a cool £8995.

I Almost Strayed ........

2009-08-19T09:41:00.002+01:00

I've read a lot of comments regarding Wordpress and it's ease of use for blogging so I thought I'd take a look at it.

I opened up an account and found that I could easily export his blog in it's entirety to the new one in one click. Pretty impressive so far. But after dabbling around with it for a while I found some features that were better, whilst some were not so good. Something just didn't seem right.

In the end I decided to stay with the devil I know (some might say it's just that I'm too old to change), and Wurzel's World will be staying right where it is - until something else comes along to spike my curiosity anyway.

The Premiership Is Exciting Again

2009-08-18T11:28:00.004+01:00

After several seasons of complaining that the football in the Premiership has become predictable and boring, suddenly it's interesting again.

Why? A friend has organised a league based on the Premier Leagues Fantasy Football competition and I've entered a team. Suddenly I actually care that Wigan have kept a clean sheet at Aston Villa (4 unexpected points for me courtesy of Titus Bramble), and find it funny that Everton actually managed a last minute consolation goal against the Gunners, losing Mrs Wurzel valuable points as she has the Arsenal goalkeeper. I might even consider sending Nemanja Vidic a Get Well Soon card if it helps to get him over his injury and back on the pitch sooner.

A league between around 20 friends has suddenly taken on a competitive edge, and Match of the Day is going to be essential viewing in our household again this season.

A Night At The BBC

2009-08-17T22:00:00.000+01:00

On Sunday we travelled up to London to the home of the good old BBC. I'd registered on their website for audience tickets to watch shows being recorded and had been allocated 4 for the recording of the 5th episode in a new situation comedy, Miranda, staring Miranda Hart.

We had a great evening. The show itself had us all in stitches,although I suspect that this was more to do with watching it live, with accompanying mistakes and ad libs. I suspect the finished article won't seem quite so funny - but then not many sit-coms do in their first series.

It was fascinating watching how the show is put together. It's obvious that actors have to rehearse their lines , but only when you watch a recording does it become apparent quite how many are involved behind the scenes, and how much they must have rehearsed to ensure that everyone is in the right place at the right time doing the right thing. This doesn't apply just to those making the programme but even the radio controlled team ensuring the audience don't end up anwhere they shouldn't. It also came as a shock how small an area the sets take up - what you see on screen is pretty much all there is, not an inch of space is wasted.

There are many gaps in recordings as are things are moved around and scenes are reviewed and reshot. The whole evening is "held together" by warm-up man - sorry, Audience Liaison - Ray Peacock. He had the unenviable task of acting as an ad-libbing, audience-involving, stand-up comedian with the added hassle of being told to stop immediately, even if mid-joke, when the others were ready to shoot again. He coped admirably and I have a feeling we'll be seeing more of this guy in front of the cameras sooner rather than later.

And a tip if you ever get the chance to attend a recording, get there early! Like scheduled airlines they give out more tickets than there are seats and it's first come first served.

Saint Markus of Switzerland

2009-07-09T15:12:00.006+01:00

Well, it's finally over.

After what seems to have become an annual summer ritual discussing who would be taking over a Southampton FC,(of course no-one ever did) this year it became a necessity. Forced into administration, without a buyer the club was in danger of disappearing completely.

As is always the case with Saints the sorry tale took many twists and turns before reaching it's conclusion.And what a conclusion.

Step forward Markus Liebherr. A name that, until the day before it all happened, was unknown to virtually all Saints fans. Whilst other interested - or maybe not really interested - parties ensured themselves plenty of press coverage the silent secretive Swiss remained quietly in the background before coming up with the goods.

Our new owner is a member of the Liebherr family who have built up a huge fortune with their engineering business - which includes supplying 2 recently installed massive cranes at Southampton Docks. Markus withdrew from the family business several years ago to work on new projects but is still worth a reported £2.5 billion in his own right. Yes that's billion, with a B. He has no intention of us doing a "Chelski", it would appear that his intentions are to take things one step at a time and methodically work our way back to where we belong, spending when necessary but not throwing money around needlessly. Sounds good to me.

How things can change. After suffering the torment of Rupert Lowe, relegation, administration, another relegation, points deductions and the serious possibility of disappearing we suddenly find ourselves in the old Third Division with minus 10 points and the 4th richest owner in English football.

I'll just repeat that. The 4th richest owner in English football.

Money doesn't of course automatically buy success - ask QPR. And I've always said I would never want a rich "sugar-daddy" taking over my club, it just wouldn't be us

But I was talking bollocks.

It sure as hell feels great.

Liberty Returns

2009-07-04T11:52:00.008+01:00

It's good to hear that the Statue of Liberty is to re-open to the public. It has remained closed since the terrorist attacks on the World Trade Centre on 11th September 2001, presumably because the Americans saw it as an iconic target for further attacks.

It's also good to hear that once it is re-opened visitor numbers will be restricted. I "done" the Statue in 1988, and it has to be the biggest disappointment of any tourist attraction I have ever visited anywhere, anytime. As the video below mentions visitors used to (as did I) queue for a couple of hours to get to the top. This was split approximately 50/50, an hour to get in and an hour shuffling very slowly one step at a time up a very tight 354 step spiral stairway. Once I eventually found myself at the top I was behind a small row of dirty windows that form the base of the crown. It would have offered amazing views of downtown Manhattan and the surrounding area if a) the windows had be cleaner ; and b) the pressure of hundreds of others following me up one step at a time left no choice but to have the briefest of glances before you heading back down a similar spiral stairway. By reducing the numbers to sensible levels visitors will have a proper chance to take in the view, as does the reporter in the video. More interesting than the external view was the fact that during the slow tortuous journey up and down you could - and still can - see the entire structure from the inside. A spectacular lady from outside but a structural-engineering wonder from within.

Hopefully I'll get a chance to pay another visit to New York one day. Whether I bother re-visiting the statue I'm not sure . The nearby Statten Island ferry offers far more spectacular views for much less cost and in far less time, probably the best ferry ride in the world.

Going, going ......

2009-06-30T15:15:00.003+01:00

I keep intending to write an update on the ongoing saga of the takeover/buyout/rescue of Southampton Football Club. But with so many twists and turns a) things keep changing before I get the chance and b) if I did even fans of Dan Brown's novels would describe it as too far-fetched.

Suffice to say that it would appear that apart from our relegation, the rest of my predictions are now looking horribly wrong. Today the two main interested parties pulled out , one putting all the blame on the Football League's intransigence but in reality it looks unlikely that either ever had the necessary backing. Our only hope now is between a Swiss consortium that have been around for a while but managed to keep themselves virtually secret (possibly a good thing, after all the self promoting time wasters have come to no good), and a newly reported "foreign consortium". It would seem that if either are really interested the they'll have to move fast, as it appears that Friday is make or break day for the club. If, with management contracts ending today, and our unpaid players seemingly leaving by the hour , there is even a club left to save.

I'm hoping the Swiss come up with the goods - their very nationality gives an air of professionalism and efficiency - but if not even my usually optimistic self is fearing the weekend papers discussing English football's biggest financial casualty in history.

Twenty 20 Over & Out

2009-06-16T13:18:00.003+01:00

So England bid farewell to the Twenty20 World Cup. To be fair they'd got as far as they deserved to. The selectors still seem unable to grasp that this is virtually a different sport to even 50 over cricket, let alone 5 day tests.

How ironic that it was the english weather that helped contribute to our eventual defeat.

There's one thing I don't understand. The infamous Duckworth/Lewis method takes a lot of criticism but I've yet to see a better method of deciding weather affected games. But why was it even necessary yesterday? England had completed their innings and the game was being played under floodlights. So why couldn't it have continued till it's natural 20 over conclusion? Under lights is under lights even if it's 3 in the morning.

The competition will continue without us, with the cavalier play and (over-) enthusiastic atmospheric crowds its unlikely to diminish in excitement and entertainment .

There's no "I" in "team"

2009-06-10T13:47:00.008+01:00

Some pictures simply don't require a caption. (but then google wouldn't find it)

Cristiano Ronaldo , MUFC, Man Utd, football, funny,

So Did You Vote ?

2009-06-05T13:46:00.005+01:00

I voted last night. After hearing all the predictions of low turn out I was surprised that the ballot box (one of 3 at my station) was so full that a ruler was needed to poke the slips right through the slot. Yet the official turnout was still only 38.29% against a previous turnout of over 64%.

I really think the time has come that voting became compulsory. What message is being sent by the 60%+ in my neighbourhood that didn't vote. Apathy? Lack of understanding? Feeling no-one represents their views? Simply too busy? Big Brother was starting? No doubt the Labour Party who still seem to be living in Cloud Cuckoo Land will claim it is simply a temporary protest and that their voters will be back when it matters for a General Election. Maybe they'd be right, I doubt it, but whatever our views we can only speculate.

We can read opinion polls untill we are blue in both the face and , hopefully, the government. But the only poll that counts is the one at the ballot box. And the only way that it can be assured that a country is being run according to the wishes of the majority of its populus - and before anyone says it, I know our first past the post system doesn't necessarily mean the majority support the winners - is to ensure that they all vote. Everybody would of course have the right to vote for "none of the above" and/or spoil their paper. Now if 60%+ of the population actually did that, then that would be sending a very strong message to all the parties that they are not listening to the man in the street.

I know that one of the many stay-aways was my 19 year old step daughter who doesn't vote because, as she puts it, "What's it got to do with me". I fear that politicians of all parties seem so alien to vast sections of society that we could have whole generations growing up with the same attitude. In years to come we could end up with our government being elected by as few as 5% or so of the population.

How it could be assured that everybody votes is a practical issue that I have no answer to at the moment but I am sure it is a problem that could be overcome if the will was really there amongst all parties.

Missing - An Appeal

2009-06-04T14:49:00.002+01:00

Missing, originally uploaded by tezzer57.

Spotted amongst a fellow Flickr members photos. I hope they find him

Woolston, and similar smaller shopping areas

2009-05-30T11:19:00.003+01:00

An interesting post from a fellow blogger

The complete works of TGR Worzel: What killed Woolston and how I would fix it...

regarding Woolston, an area in which I have a particular interest, and similarly sized shopping areas. There's an interesting discussion also growing in the comments section, views of others would also be welcomed.

The Emperor's New Clothes

2009-05-28T11:17:00.002+01:00

We had a lovely 2 day break down in Cornwall last weekend. Monday was not quite beach weather, so we decided to pay a visit to the Tate St Ives art gallery. I came out feeling that we had been totally ripped off by a collection of the most pretentious load of rubbish I have ever paid to see (and remember, I am a Southampton fan ).

Here is my honest, open minded, review

A beautiful, impressive building that cleverly blends in with it’s surroundings. Ok, that’s the good bit over with.It is split into several sections with separate exhibitions in each room. When we visited these were –in no particular order - as follows, along with my own reviews.

Alfred Wallis: I’ve heard of this guy before. A famous St Ives painter, he recorded images of ships out at sea, and other local scenes, as he saw them in his head, on random scraps of card. Sorry, but the world is not 2 dimensional; boats do not travel vertically up the sea. These were no better quality than you would expect to find in an infant school, with no unique feature or style to set them apart from work by children of that age. One picture I thought summed up the work. It’s title alongside it was “St Michaels Mount (or Gibraltar?)”, note the question mark. I have been to both, this was definitely neither.

Bojan Sarcevic: A room divided by a few sheets of clear thick perspex that you had to take care not to bump into in the dull light, with a projector playing a flickering cine film of various bits of “sculpture”. I think we endured this one for the length of time it took to cross the room and get out the other end.

Lawrence Weiner: An empty room with 10 pieces of text painted onto the wall. These had the appearance of large car number plates, at an angle of 45 degrees, with three word phrases such as “cobblers eat cheese” (I doubt that was really one of them, but they were all that forgettable) spelt out on blue backgrounds. Attention span in here was as long as it took to read ten three word meaningless phrases.

Lucie Rie: Some pots.

Barbara Hepworth: Sculptures that were at least pleasing on the eye. Basically random shapes nicely proportioned in a variety of textures. At least they had titles like “oval form”, not claiming to be something they weren’t. Ticket also included entry to the Barbara Hepworth Sculpture Garden and Museum, 5 minutes walk away where more of her work set in a garden actually seemed worth looking at.

Carol Bove: What seemed to me to be random items. What is artistic about an approximately 4” cube of what appeared to be coal placed on a plinth with a few bits of dust and black crumbs around it? (not sure if the dust and crumbs were intentional or had simply dropped off). My favourite piece here, and something I wouldn’t mind having in a living room if I had one big enough was a large piece of driftwood about 7ft long displayed vertically . She hadn’t made this, simply picked it up and decided it looked good. Is that art, or nature? Or simply being in the right place at the right time?

Katy Moran: Quite frankly – a mess. A room full of "pictures"(?) consisting of scribble, some with the artistic touch of a few bits of scrap paper stuck on them. Meaningless rubbish given meaningless titles- what is the point?

I am not against art – I know what Ilike and am also open minded enough to appreciate things that don’t particularly appeal to me when I can understand what the artist is trying to create or represent. I have been to the Saatchi gallery in London and stood in awe at some of the things I saw there. I also appreciate that not everyone likes the same thing, and some people will dislike things I like and vice versa.But my overwhelming impression of the whole experience here was "Why?"

I think the people in charge at St Ives are relying on the Emperor New Clothes Syndrome, if we claim to be an authority on the subject and tell the masses it is good, then they will believe it is good. Sorry, not me, as I commented to a friendly member of staff “I don’t get it, it’s just a mess”. She did try to explain the thinking behind some of the “work” but I noticed that she didn’t try to contradict my original statement

Tellingly, an hour later we were wandering around one of St Ives numerous retail galleries admiring some (I guess they would be called ) modern landscapes. “Now that’s art, not like that other rubbish” commented my wife. The guy running the place looked up with a knowing grin and said “You’ve been to the Tate haven’t you, we here that sort of comment a lot”.

Go West

2009-05-23T15:28:00.003+01:00

Just about to head down to our place in Cornwall for a quick 48 hour flying visit. Weather forecast is looking good so looking forward to some sun, sea, sand and a few alliteration spoiling pints of Doom Bar.

It's what Bank Holidays are made for.

Wurzel 1- Doctor's Evil Receptionist 0

2009-05-20T14:45:00.007+01:00

What is it about Doctor's receptionists that their sole duty seems to be to prevent you from actually seeing your doctor?

Yesterday, Tuesday, I phoned to make an appointment only to be told "We're fully booked you'll have to phone back tomorrow at 8.15". Not entirely unexpected, that seems to be par for the course. It's not urgent, just something I need to discuss so I was quite happy to try again.

So this morning , Wednesday, I try again, at 8.25a.m. I actually get through on my 3rd attempt, which was promising.

Me: "Hello can I make an appointment to see the doctor please, as late in the afternoon as he can make it"
Doctor's Evil Receptionist: " Sorry he's fully booked, you'll have to ring back tomorrow morning"
Me: "I just have"
DER: "Sorry?"
Me: "That's what you told me yesterday, now it's tomorrow so I've just rung back"
DER: "So have lots of others, he's fully booked today you'll have to try again tomorrow, we can only make appointments on the day"
(It's still onl 8.27, it appears my doctor sells out faster than a Michael Jackson farewell concert.)
Me: " What is it with this stupid system? "
DER: "Is it urgent? I can arrange for him to come and see you"
Me: "No it's not urgent I just need to discuss something with the doctor. I work six days a week, surely it's not too hard to make an appointment at a time that suits both me and the doctor and write it in the diary. I don't care if it's tomorrow, the next day, or next week".
DER: " I'm afraid we can only make appointments on the day"
Me: remembering the sales mantra of whoever breaks the silence loses, stays firmly silent.
DER: " I can do you 5pm Friday"
Me: "Anything later?"
DER: "5.10?"
Me: "Fine, thanks I'll be there"

Why oh why is it so bleeding difficult?

Parliament & Primary Schools - The Parallel

2009-05-20T10:17:00.004+01:00

Could Gordon Brown be more out of touch with public opinion if he tried?

The MPs expenses fiasco, understandably, has been the big topic of conversation in workplaces, pubs, and post office queues the length and breadth of the land. The impression I'm getting from conversations (held and overheard) is that it's not so much the money, but the fact that these people - the people in charge of our country - can not be trusted. So what does he propose? Make them understand the rules, stick to the rules, and accept draconian punishment if they don't ? No. He proposes in "independent body" to oversee the whole issue of MP's expenses. In other words, confirming that they can not be trusted to deal with it properly and honestly themselves, so someone else has to be appointed to watch over them.

Mrs Wurzel works in a primary school which of course has to toe Mr Brown's Government's guidelines. What happens there if a child repeatedly misbehaves and can not be trusted to follow the rules? Is the child punished? No. He or she receives "0ne on one" tuition, or in other words someone independent of the class teacher is appointed to watch over them.

Spot the parallel here?

Dear UK Press and Media ....

2009-05-12T09:50:00.002+01:00

...... so the publicity grabbing, attention seeking, couple of media whores that are Katie Price and Peter Andre are splitting up.

A statement from them reads that they "have both requested that the media respect their families' privacy at this difficult time".

Please, please, please, I beg of you, not for their sakes but for ours, grant them their wish.

The Return of Jiminy

2009-05-11T13:34:00.005+01:00

Nowadays the old knees aren't what they were and I restrict my cricketing appearances to few and far between. But in the past I played for and ran a local league side . Surprisingly we won far more than we lost, I say surprisingly because our main raisons d'etre were
a) to enjoy ourselves,
b)to give every one a chance to do something regardless of ability,
c) to talk about it in the pub afterwards and
d) try and win.

After several club name changes we finally settled on one suggested by my brother which conjured up the spirit of the team - Jiminy Cricket Club. We were initially worried that the Disney copyright lawyers might not like it but after taking suitable advice - amazing how much "expert opinion" eleven players can come up with over a pint or two - it was decided this was definitely a Cricket Club called "Jiminy" and not a "Jiminy Cricket" Club and if they objected they could go wish upon a star.

Unfortunately after several seasons the club eventually died a death due to dwindling numbers attending the pub after matches. But out of the blue the name is to be revived. Following a conversation on twitter ( concerning attempts to Save Benno from his sacking as skipper of his village 2nd XI ) another tweeter, Dan Slee was so enamoured by the name that a "New Jiminy Cricket Club" has been formed in the Walsall area and hope to play their first fixture soon . They have kindly appointed me Honorary (regrettably I think that bit means I don't get paid) Fielding Coach, which I humbly and gratefully accept (the fact I know not who they are or where to find them is just a minor inconvenience to overcome).

It is in this capacity that I offer the following recollections from Jiminy's previous incarnation as two examples of Dos and Don'ts when fielding. Both took place in Hoglands Park, which for those that don't know Southampton is a large park right in the city centre, split into quarters by 2 much used diagonal paths, with cricket pitches taking up 3 of the 4 quarters. With benches lining the paths and much pedestrian "through traffic" matches played here tended to gain a bigger audience than elswhere.

So, especially for my new protogees, 2 Dos and Don'ts of Fielding

DO STAY COOL AT ALL TIMES.
John (who mus have been in his late 50s at the time) was fielding at Long On (to non cricketers that's almost directly behind the bowler right back as far as you can be on the boundary). The batsman smashed a ball straight back high over the bowler's head towards John. With a cry of "catch it!" all heads turned towards John, only to see him chatting to a passer by who was sat on one of the aforementioned benches. The other fielders stood shoulders slumped, all assuming that this was going for six. But we were forgetting John's 40 odd years of experience. He calmly put his roll-up that he was smoking behind his left ear, carefully placed the can of beer he was drinking from onto the bench, took two paces forward, caught the guy out, hurled the ball back into the middle and carried on his conversation with the spectator as if nothing had happened.To this day, still the coolest thing I have witnessed, anytime, anywhere.

DON'T EVER PANIC
This one also took place at Hoglands Park, coincidently again with the fielder (this time Jarvo) fielding at Long On. Similarly to the previous example the batsman had smashed the ball straight back over the bowlers head. Now to be fair to Jarvo, positioned a couple of yards inside the boundary by the sight screen, it was one of those horrible ones to judge. Coming straight at him, the ball held up in the wind slightly and was one of those that leaves you in two minds, either to take a few strides forward and attempt a risky catch or take a few strides back and ensure you field the ball on the bounce thus preventing a certain boundary. Amazingly Jarvo, in a moment of sheer panic, found himself not in two minds, but three and opted for the third. With the ball dropping out of the sky towards him having been hit from 50-60 yards away Jarvo simply stood his ground and volleyed the ball back from whence it came. Again, to be fair to Jarvo, it was a damned good attempt, and actually was in with a decent chance of a surprise run out had the other ten fielders, two batsmen and two umpires not all simultaneously collapsed to the ground in laughter. Jarvo spent the rest of the game claiming it was exactly what he intended to do, whilst trying not to put any weight on his right foot. A quick after-match visit to A&E revealed two bruises, one to his foot and one to his ego. To this day I find myself laughing out loud and the thought of it, and feel the need to remind Jarvo of it every time we meet.

So remember New Jiminys, a bit more of John and a bit less of Jarvo, here endeth your first coaching session of the season.

State-ing the Bleeding Obvious (see what I did there?)

2009-05-07T14:02:00.004+01:00

My nice shiny spanking new much anticipated government issue swine flu information booklet has finally arrived on my doorstep.A quick flick through and my only reaction is "Why?".

I wonder how much this has cost our bankrupt country to produce and distribute? 12 pages of colour print on glossy paper containing very little except plain and simple common sense.

What next? Any day now I am expecting a Gordon Brown video on YouTube showin us all how to wipe our own arses properly

Southampton Football Club

2009-04-03T10:10:00.007+01:00

I'm going to be lazy now and not even start to describe the goings on - and the goings - at Southampton Football Club and it's parent company this week. A quick Google News search for any or all of Southampton, administration, SLH, Rupert Lowe will tell you more than you need to know.

Just for the record, so I can refer back to it when I'm proved right, (and delete it if I'm wrong) this is how I see things panning out.

The Football League will do their usual fudge job and rule that provided someone buys the FC before end of season then no points deduction.

It's not goig to cost much to buy JUST the football club. Someone WILL buy the FC, my guess is about £3.5million. All they are really getting for that is players contracts and future gate receipts/tv income.

I think the £24m owed on the stadium (owned by SLH not the FC) is a bit of a red herring, it's like a mortgage, it's not all due to be paid now just the annual payment. Norwich Union will reluctantly agree to take ownership of the stadium and take a percentage of future gate receipts till they've got their money back (or sell it to a 3rd party who will do the same). It's not like repossessing house that they can re-sell, it's useless to them or anyone else unless SFC are using it. Similar deal with Staplewood (training ground)

SLH will cease to exist and Mr Lowe will never be heard of again in football circles.

We'll still get relegated this season even without points penalty

With a clean slate next season new owners will have learned from past mistakes. A much smaller squad will do a Leicester next season and storm Division 3 on average gates of 25,000.

Within 5 years the money coming into football will be much lower. We'll have a club back on it's feet and improving as others (bigger clubs) start suffering what we've already been through. We'll be in a position to buy back our own stadium whilst others are losing theirs and be totally self reliant again.

Within 5 years there will be only ONE team in Hampshire, Portsmouth's structure means they have far less chance of getting out of their mess than we have. (Ok I forgot Eastleigh).

Champions League Winners 2018.

OK The last bit was a joke.

Why ....

2009-04-03T10:04:00.003+01:00

........ is it that when you have a blood test you don't even feel the needle, but pulling the plaster off an hour later brings tears to your eyes? :-(

18 Points WooHoo

2009-04-01T17:00:00.002+01:00

Pholph's Scrabble Generator

My Scrabble© Score is: 18.
What is your score? Get it here.

The New England Shirt

2009-03-30T14:00:00.004+01:00

Loving the new England shirt. The best one EVER. Well done Umbro

Blondes

2009-03-30T13:03:00.004+01:00

My lovely blonde wife gets very upset at the stereo-typical image that all cute blondes are, how shall I put it, a little bit lacking in the intelligence department.

On her behalf I am only too pleased to put the record straight.

Hamble Common

2009-03-29T18:15:00.009+01:00

Hamble Common, originally uploaded by Wurzel.

British Summer Time has officially started so a brisk walk was called for this afternoon.

A lot of work has been done recently opening up Hamble Common to make it more accessible to walkers, revealing beautiful scenery like this.

It's great living in an area with places like this virtually on the doorstep

More about Hamble Common HERE

A New Political Hero

2009-03-28T11:51:00.003Z

Daniel Hannan

Admittedly, he doesn't offer up any alternative policies but anyone who can stand up and say this to Gormless Brown's face gets top marks in my books.

I'm surprised my good friend Snopper hasn't commented on this yet.

For Mrs Wurzel

2009-03-27T15:22:00.002Z

In the old days wives used to complain that their husbands didn't speak to them enough.

In this technological age Mrs Wurzel keeps complaining I am not updating my blog enough.

So just for you, here's my favourite video for today xxx

Our Government and The Economy

2009-02-25T10:08:00.003Z

Small Fortune, originally uploaded by Wurzel.

The picture sums up the apparent current fiscal policy - try it and hope for the best.

I heard this on the radio this morning.

The privately owned banks run into financial trouble.
Government response?
To transfer part of them to public ownership.

The publicly owned Royal Mail runs into financial trouble.
Government response?
To transfer part of it to private ownership.

Don't worry, they know what they're doing....... honest

New Zealand Copyright Protest

2009-02-17T16:47:00.001Z

Join The New Zealand Internet BlackOut to protest against a law due on February 28th that calls for internet disconnection based on accusations of copyright infringement without a trial and without any evidence held up to court scrutiny.

http://creativefreedom.org.nz/blackout.html

"Sections 92A and C of the amended Copyright Act establish a guilt upon accusation principle that can see anyone accused of "copyright infringement" getting his or her Internet connection severed"

Black out your Facebook avatar, Your Myspace pages, your Twitter account, and websites to protest against the insane new law that may come into effect on February 28.

Snow

2009-02-03T10:19:00.006Z

Snow, originally uploaded by Wurzel.

The view from my front garden yesterday. Today the snow was much deeper but unfortunately no time to take photos. I drove to work this morning, had I walked I'd have probably taken hundreds of photos

The Power of the Search Engine

2009-01-30T12:13:00.003Z

Strange family !, originally uploaded by Wurzel.

I like to use Flickr for displaying some of my photographs. Most have, I like to think anyway, a degree of artistic merit or a least interesting subject matter. So it's a bit disappointing to find that this picture has had over 5 times as many views as the next best one.

Why? It's nothing more than a family shot from a day out at Wookey Hole.

But foolishly I entitled in "Strange Family". AZnd beng able to see where ti's hits come from I now realise that it has slowly moved it's way up the Yahoo search engine rankings so that if you type in the word "strange" (as I'm sure numerous bored surfers do from time to time) into theier image search it appears in the top line of their listings. Thanks to that it's currently averaging a couple of dozen hit a day.

I'll blame it on our "dumbing down" culture.

West Pier, Brighton

2009-01-26T15:32:00.001Z

West Pier, Brighton, originally uploaded by Wurzel.

What is left of Brighton's West Pier on a very cold wet and windy Sunday afternoon. The picture makes the day look a lot brighter than it was, I like the waves and the isolation of the per in this shot

Palace Pier, Brighton

2009-01-26T15:29:00.001Z

Palace Pier, Brighton, originally uploaded by Wurzel.

Brighton's Palace Pier (despite the sign claiming otherwise) on a very cold we and windy Sunday afternoon.

Northington Grange

2009-01-18T21:52:00.005Z

Northington Grange, originally uploaded by Wurzel.

Whilst out and about today we visited Northington Grange, near Alresford, Hampshire. This is an amazing place, tucked away down a country lane, blink and you'd miss the entrance. An imposing architectural wonder, stood totally alone and unattended Any attempts to see through any windows not blacked out reveals a derelict interior. Or so it seems. Because in the summer it comes alive ! The video below reveals the secret.

Fruity

2009-01-14T22:25:00.004Z

Fruity, originally uploaded by Wurzel.

A delicious fruit salad made for us to day by my youngest daughter Li'l Wurzel.
I've definitely had my 5-a-day today

Fresh Start For The New Year

2009-01-14T21:28:00.000Z

Time, laziness and lack of inspiration has resulted in this blog being severely neglected over the last few months. So, to make a fresh start for the new year I've decided that from now on I'll be posting far more photos and a lot less of the written stuff. And bearing in mind a picture is worth a thousand words, you. dear readers, will be getting far better value for money.

ps: If any cared, Colin has gone to cactus heaven.

Colin the Cactus - The Rescue Mission *

2008-11-11T15:56:00.010Z

During one of those Antiques Roadshow inspired clear out's, hoping to find some long forgotten treasure (for treasure read junk) at least worth putting on E-Bay, if not attracting the interest of Sothebys ,we came across this.

The pot has a sticker reading "Potted Cactus" so I guess that's what it is (or maybe was). As an indication of size the pot is 3.5 inches across, (that's 9cm for my younger readers) and Colin (for that is what I have named him ) stands 2.5" (or 6cm) tall.

Mrs W wanted to throw it away . I decided I'm going to rescue it. I mean him (sorry Colin). After all if hes a cactus he comes from the desert. Deserts go without rain for years, yet still they survive. So he must be rescue-able-ish. First step is a drink of much needed water. If that doesn't work then I'll try him on a teaspoon of brandy (it worked on my rabbit when I was a boy)

So don't forget to pop back regularly for exciting updates in the rescue of Colin the Cactus.

*Any Hollywood producers interested in the movie rights to this heart wrenching but exciting true life drama can contact me via the comments link below.

Joe the Plumber

2008-10-17T11:21:00.004+01:00

Last weekend Joe the Plumber became a new real life representative of hard working American tax-payers everywhere. a sort of trans-Atlantic Joe Bloggs in the flesh.

Except it turns out he's not a proper plumber, doesn't pay his taxes and his name's not even Joe.

I could make this a criticism of politicians distorting facts to make a point, or the media jumping on a story without checking facts.

But no. All I'm interested in is the guy's real name.

Samuel J Wurzelbacher.

He has to be a relation of some sort. Time to extend the family tree research net a bit wider methinks.

Be Prepared

2008-10-11T09:47:00.003+01:00

Woke up this morning to the sound of fog horns. Drew back the curtains to reveal one of those beautiful autumn mornings crisp feel to the air, bright sunshine but very foggy. A perfect photo opportunity.

Grabbed my camera and left for work an hour earlier than necessary heading for the country park down on the edge of the river. The conditions were sure to create some spectacular scenery down there.

Spectacular was indeed the right word. Trees and the chapel rising our of the grey nothingness, the sun creating amazing patterns where it broke through the mist, the water taking on a mystical appearance. Beautiful photos there for the taking.

3 clicks of the camera later and my batteries were dead !

Wurzel Tip #1

2008-10-10T15:07:00.004+01:00

The first in a (occasional) series of handy tips from the World of Wurzel.

This one comes courtesy of my youngest daughter. A couple of weeks ago she randomly told me that ground black pepper stops bleeding.

This morning I put it to the test. I suffered one of those shaving nicks that produces more blood than an amputation. 20 minutes and half a toilet roll, face putty (my own concoction of talc and savlon cream) and dabs of aftershave later, the crimson stream continued to pour down my neck, leaving a bright red stripe down my body as it headed to the floor.

Then I remembered Li'l Wurzel's advice. Black pepper, sprinkled onto my hand then a fingertip full dabbed onto the cut.

It works ! Instantly !!

I've no idea why, no doubt some scientist can explain, but clearly it's an old wives - or in this case young daughter's - tale that rings true.

One word of warning though - it stings like buggery !

Watching The Game

2008-10-06T16:26:00.007+01:00

On Saturday I had the misfortune to go down the pub and watch Coventry v Southampton live on Sky. (I say misfortune as being a Saints fan the final score of 4-1 to Coventry flattered us).

On any of the multiple screens around the pub I was able to watch the game with a pint in my hand, in the dry (it was raining there) with close-ups, multi- angles, and slow motion replays of all the main incidents.

Nothing really new there then. Except the game was played mostly to a backdrop of empty blue seats with an attendance of 15518 seated in a 32500 capacity stadium. Yet there was I, and many others standing literally shoulder to shoulder like sardines in a packed pub watching the same game. It was just like the old days - the old days at the game itself I mean.

This Weeks Spot The Spectator Competition

I doubt this was a one off, I'm sure there were plenty of pubs in Southampton equally packed. Despite being the home team no doubt there were plenty in Coventry watching in a similar manner.I understand that this is being repeated week in week out around the country. I really fear that the game is on a downward spiral, big changes are going to be needed to bring those missing thousands back to the grounds again.

Ancient Britain

2008-09-30T16:30:00.010+01:00

Sunday was one of the few pleasant days off of the summer weather-wise (did I really say summer?) and having just received my annual membership of English Heritage (courtesy of Tesco Clubcard) we took a trip to Avebury.

(all pictures my own - click for larger versions)

I remember visiting Stonehenge a long time ago feeling nothing bt disappointment. The stones looked a quarter of the size I imagined and right next to a very busy road and visitors were kept well away from them.

Avebury on the other hand is certainly worth a visit. Here you can actually walk amongst - and touch - the standing stones that are much much older than even Stonehenge. Although not as complete - thanks to local fielders and farmers in bygone days not realising the story behind there neighbourhood collection of standing stones - but enough has been restored to give you a feel for the place. The sheer size and scale of the site is awesome, not to mention the "feeling" of history. Mrs Wurzel - who understands these things - when touching the stones could also get a "feeling" for something more "mystic".

From Avebury itself and it's ring of standing stones we followed more stones forming an avenue (originally about a mile or so long although less than half remain) to the Sanctuary. From here we walked to the West Kennet Long Barrow, an amazing place that is well over 5000 years old but you can actually go inside. Some meditation sounds - made by real people visiting, not tourist trap audio loop through speakers- coming from somewhere in the darkness of the burial chambers added to the mystical quality.

From there, roughly half an hours walk back to Avebury, passing the mysterious and unexpectedly huge Silbury Hill rounded of a very pleasant day, which despite the plethora of information available probably left us asking more questions about the origins of the whole area than were answered. Which is just how I like my history.

Fashionably Old

2008-09-22T16:16:00.003+01:00

Last night - if I didn't know it already - I finally realised that I'm getting old.

My 16 year old daughter had won a place in a catwalk show. 3 dozen young ladies had to be whittled down to just 12, with those 12 acting as models for a fashion show to take place next month. She paraded in front of an audience of around 300 people, first in casual wear, then swimwear. She was then selected for the final round, this time wearing evening wear and being interviewed by "celebrity" (I use that word advisedly) compère (I use that word advisedly too) Mike Osman, she didn't seem at all nervous. In fact quite the opposite she seemed quite the confident young lady. And if my daughter is already a young lady that must make me an old man !

Unfortunately she didn't get through into the final 12. Like any totally biased Dad I thought the judges had it wrong, although to be fair they were picking 12 girls to model clothes and it would appear that they went for the biggest variety of shapes and sizes t show off the clothing.

My daughters boyfriend had also entered. Only 4 men were required but he WAS one of the successful ones. NOT the best way to curry favour with your girlfriend I'd have thought.

The evening - unknown to me until I got there - was a charity fund raising evening for Sophie's Appeal. Sophie had died from wilms disease, something my stepson (before I knew him) had battled through and thankfully beaten when very young, losing a kidney in the process. Sophie's parents set up the charity in her memory, to raise funds to support the social, emotional and educational welfare of sick children and their families or carers whilst being treated either in hospital or the community. So all in all an enjoyable evening for a very worthwhile cause. Even if I did go home feeling a lot older than when I got there.

I'm European for 3 Days

2008-09-19T14:33:00.005+01:00

I always consider myself English before British.

And NEVER European (despite what our wonderful leaders want us to think)

Except for this weekend. Golf's bi-ennial Ryder Cup is here again, one of the few occasions when watching golf gets exciting. So for the next 3 days I'll be cheering on Europe in our battle against the "good ole U S of A".

My prediction - USA 12 Europe 16

Go Europe !

Footnote: Why do American spectators habitually shout "Get in the hole" at the ball? 30,000 odd baying Southampton fans have never been able to affect the ability of their strikers to hit the back of the net, why does one man think he can influence the movement of an inanimate object with the power of his voice alone?

In The Words Of Gary Glitter ............

2008-09-16T20:49:00.006+01:00

........... "Did you miss me, Yeah, while I was away ?"

Ok not the best example in the world to use for a comeback was it . But one has to keep ones legion of fans happy ( I say legion, I strongly suspect that "Stephen" and "Turtle" are one and the same) so after a gap of a few months I decided it's time to rekindle Wurzel's World.

No excuses for the gap in posting except for, well, I just don't seem to have had the time. So a quick update. Since I stopped posting in April I've

Been a bit busy at work (sometimes, just a bit, now and again)
Had my Sten night (joint stag and hen night)
Got married (best day EVER)
honeymooned in Spain
came home
still enjoying being married
spent ages opening presents sorting "thank yous", photos etc.
still enjoying being married
tried to revive cricket career after 2 years injured - bowling ok, batting shite, now throws like a girl.
still enjoying being married
lots of days out to random places
still enjoying being married
Holiday in Cornwall it rained.
still enjoying being married
tried to get excited about start of new footie season
still enjoying being married
Same old Saints - already bored with new football season
still enjoying being married
regained position as reigning champions at Nick's Quiz Nights (with more than a bit of help from Mich )
still enjoying being married.

As for the rest of the world, it's gone into meteorological and financial melt down. Whilst I take no responsibility for the weather rumour has it that financial traders the world over have been distracted whilst searching for my non-existent latest posts and taken their eye of the ball investment wise - sorry about that everyone.

I'll try to make sure I post again before Xmas.

Hello tell all your friends I'm back,
I'm back as a matter of fact,
as a matter of factI'm back.
G Glitter

Greetings from Goonhilly

2008-08-04T16:04:00.002+01:00

A quick posting from Future World at
Goonhilly in Cornwall, using reputedly, the world's fastest internet connection.

Crunch Time

2008-04-27T09:46:00.005+01:00

As I write, Saints have dropped into the relegation zone. Assuming all the teams above us lose we still need a minimum of 2 points with just 2 games to play.

The first on Monday night against a team who (realistically) needs just a point in front of their own fans to gain promotion back to the Premier League. Even worse it's live on tv, for some reason we take great delight in embarrassing ourselves in front of worldwide audiences. The final game at hone to know that beating us could (depending on other results) earn them a place in the coveted Play-Offs. So those points look a long way off.

As a fan is it being disloyal to admit it? - we are well and truly f*%#ed. Not least because on the day we dropped into the bottom 3 my shareholder invite to attend the hastily called EGM dropped on my doormat. Years of internal wrangling at board level have destroyed the very heart of the club.

Maybe it's karma, maybe the club is simply getting exactly what it deserves.

The only saving grace is that traditionally we have been able to pull a top performance out of the bag when it's least expected

Ah well 1 week to go and we'll know for sure.

Green Fingers

2008-04-24T14:36:00.005+01:00

Thanks to a suddenly unaccountable spirit of self-sufficiency I have decided that I am going to grow our own vegetables from now on. Well, slight exaggeration, but last week I succumbed to an impulse purchase of a BBC Gardening magazine, lured by the packet of free seeds on the cover.

Just a week ago I filled 5 little flowerpots with compost and planted our summer rations. In two pots went seeds of "Oriental Mixed Salad Leaves". The other 3 contain either "Anaheim Chilli Pepper", "Sweet Green Basil" or "Gartenperle Tomato". I say "either" because I immediately spotted my first major error, I had forgotten to mark which pot contained which seeds after I'd buried the little blighters. However, undeterred by this initial setback, I covered them in cling film, placed them on the kitchen window sill , lightly watered them and - well basically forgot all about them.

Today just one week on, I remembered them again. I am pleased (and shocked) to report good progress. Both pots containing the spicy salad leaves are displaying astonishing growth, multiple shoots, all topped by two or more leaves, already about 3 inches high. I guess by Sunday it might be time for them to venture out into the big wide world.

As for the "unidentified" 3 progress is mixed. One (I think the tomato) has already produced 4 shoots about an inch high, with slender leaves. One of the others has several green tips just broken through the surface whilst the 3rd has yet to show any sign that I even put anything into the pot.

It's a bit early to say if anything edible is going to result from any of the 5 pots, but at the moment I'm looking forward to a healthy, "planted and picked by my own fair hand", salad-y diet this summer.

My next project - rip out the lawn and plant myself a small field of barley and hops.

Just Say No !

2008-04-09T19:25:00.002+01:00

Just Say No !, originally uploaded by Wurzel.

Flickr is probably the best photo-sharing planet on the web. It's a place were anyone can feel accepted, from the most professional of photographers, to the enthusiastic amateur, to a simple "snapper" who wants to share his or her holiday snaps.

Today they have decided - without consulting the members who pay to keep it going - to allow videos to be uploaded as well.

Why ? I've no idea .

If users want to see videos there are plenty of sites already for that, YouTube, MetaCafe etc, there' no need for them on a photography site. I can only imagine it's the same principle as Tescos expanding into the - well virtually everything - market, thatare worried that if users/customers have to go elsewhere for one thing they might not come back.

Personally I feel it's a ridiculous decision. I have learned a lot about photography from Flickr, the last thing I want is to keep stumbling across terrible mobile phone quality videos of drunken teenagers having a "fun" - there's a time and a place for those but it's not Flickr.

Despite the videos being announced less than 24 hours ago there is already a massive and rapidly growing campaign to get Flick to re-think, or at least consult it's fee paying members over this. If they don't it could be a case of corporate suicide - remember other photo-sharing sites are available.

The Long Journey Home

2008-04-08T09:36:00.003+01:00

Yesterday I had to pop up to London on business, taking Mrs W with me.

An easy drive up in the morning, park in Richmond and get a day rover for the tube, avoiding high car parking charges, congestion charges and god knows what other charges.

Tube to Olympia, business concluded by late lunch so hopped on and off tubes for quick wander round Picadilly, Oxford Street, Soho, St James Park, and Whitehall, jump on another tube back to Richmond, grab a coffee and head home about 19.15

Couldn't be easier.

Until we hit a queue on the M3 just south of the M25 junction at about 19.40pm.

A queue which we soon realised was stationery. Soon the sky got darker and the temperature plummeted

A queue which remained stationery until 22.30 when it moved all of 100 yards before stopping again.

A queue which then remained stationery again until 23.07 when out of the blue, and interrupting the 78th game of I-spy - how I didn't guess v was for van again I'll never know - it started to crawl.

A queue which slowly crawled until 23.30 when suddenly we were past the obstruction (apparently a vehicle fire and diesel spill) and we were on our way. Except we didn't go too far, a stop a Fleet Services was by now a desperate necessity.

We finally arrived home at 00.45.

5 1/2 hours for a journey that normally takes 75 minutes. We could have cycled home quicker !

A Bit Of Snow

2008-04-06T19:25:00.006+01:00

Snow Mosaic, originally uploaded by Wurzel.

I might be an overgrown child but I still love to be woken by the words "It's snowing".

For once the forecasters got it right. We would be hit by snow around 8 am Sunday morning. They got it spot in. Heavy snow, which for once actually laid on the ground, gave us a mini-blizzard lasting about an hour. Ironically last but one post was "first Signs Of Spring".

By mid-day it had virtually all gone, but like most things in life, it was good while it lasted, however short.

Unusual Visitor

2008-04-05T19:36:00.000+01:00

Unusual Visitor, originally uploaded by Wurzel.

It's not every day you get visited by a skunk - well certainly not in England anyway.

Today, in my shop, a customer asked if it was ok to bring animals in. This usually means a guide dog, or at worst a well behaved dog on a lead so naturally we agreed.

So in he strolled with his skunk in a carry case, and at my request to take a photo for the kids out it came. I had no idea quite how big they are (I thought more like rabbit sized). This one is female, apparently the males are significantly bigger. Thankfully she had been de-scented and was very tame.

The owner runs a business taking animals around schools giving kids a "hands-on" and close-up experience of rare and unusual creatures. Yet another improvement in education nowadays, in my day we had to make do with text book photos and a class gerbil.

First Signs Of Spring

2008-03-20T10:49:00.003Z

Cuckoos? No

Daffodils? No

The council tractor spotted cutting the grass on the green outside our house? Yes

That's it then. Winter is officially over :-)

Favourites Lists - An Impossible Task

2008-03-18T22:38:00.005Z

Over on the left I've got one of those IMDB widgets showing details of my Top 10 movies. Except it's already a list of 12. (Edit: Since removd it keeps changing the list on it's own!!)

How does anyone ever create a definitive favourite list of anything? When I added it a couple of months back I picked my top 10. I've re-arranged, added to and knocked off films ever since. Last night I watched Basic Instinct again. How did I ever forget to include that one? A true classic of it's genre (even if it does leave many questions unanswered, but then that's part of the appeal) In it goes a new entry at number 5, demoting all those below it.

I guess favourites is an emotional choice depending on a lot of variables, mainly the mood you are in when you select the list. Sliver is still in there, ok as a film but earns extra brownie points for the soundtrack. is that enough to keep it in? Maybe - maybe not. It would never get in a list of "Best" movies, but best and favourite aren't the same thing.

So that list is likely to be continuing to evolve forever. And as I type I have just remembered Green Mile, definitely another favourite. Time to go edit it again.

The Southampton Roller Coaster Ride Continues

2008-03-16T20:16:00.003Z

Despite appearances the picture on the left is not a roller coaster track. It is an mathematically accurate graph portraying the emotions involved in being a Southampton fan.

For as long as I can remember they have been the masters of unexpected euphoria one minute followed by stunning disappointment the next. Countless times over the years they have beaten - even thrashed - the top teams, only to follow it up with a stunning defeat at the hands of the leagues lesser teams.

Last season we looked like we were languishing in mid-table only for a late run to push us into a play-off spot. From nowhere came a massive wave of optimism - we were on our way back to the promised land (well the Premier League Money Machine anyway). We then contrived to lose our home leg off our play-off only to drag ourselves back into it with a glorious performance away from home, only to shoot themselves in the foot with an own goal and a missed penalty.

This year we were expecting nothing less than the same again - or better. But it hasn't worked out quite like that. Despite a few false dawns we have found ourselves sliding ominously towards a relegation spot. Last Tuesday evening we were at home to relegation rivals Leicester. If things didn't go our way we could have ended up below the dreaded dotted line on the league table. We managed to win, our first in god knows how long - and vital it was too, for all other results went the ways would have preferred them not to. Suddenly things were looking a little more rosy, the new managers ideas were obviously now having an effect and the only way was up. So off they went on Saturday up to Hull, the fans at least in a slightly more confident mood. So what happened? Should have put money on it really, a 5-0 thrashing that apparently flattered us.

With 7 games left the season could now go one of two ways. That latest defeat - the 3rd by 5 goals this season so far - could be the kick up the arse wake up call the players need and spur them on to a few decent performances (or at least a commitment level in excess of 50%) that sees them climbing the table to safety. Or the mental scars of such a defeat immediately after achieving a win could destroy any speck of confidence they had left.

Which way will it go? Who knows, but please note that in that roller coaster picture - I mean graph - you can't see the end !

Rock Challenge

2008-03-08T19:54:00.000Z

On Friday I went to Southampton Guildhall to watch my daughter perform for her school in a heat of the Global Rock Challenge. What a great evening.

It's the second year she's done it, and both times her school has put on an amazing performance, ending up in second place on each occasion.

The challenge is for children aged between 11 and 18. It's a combination of drama and dance. The teams have to create an 8 minute performance based around a theme of their choice. Last year they chose as a topic the comparison between war and football violence, in 8 minutes taking us on a trip from the first world war trenches through to the recent World Cup. How can they do that in dance ? I did wonder myself when she told me but when I saw the performance - involving around 40 children- it was simply amazing. This year it was comparing the public and private lives of stars from the era of the Hollywood greats and the different problems they encountered and again it was a superb spectacle worthy of any professional show.

It is down to the children themselves to come up with a theme, the choreography, design and make the props, costumes, hair and make up, select the soundtrack and arrange the lighting.

Every child that takes part should feel very proud, what they achieve is a credit to every single one of them

The only disappointment for me is how little coverage the event gets. With us daily hearing more news of anti-social behaviour and much worse from kids of this age it's events like this that show that not all kids are like that, far from it. Yet as is usual for the media they concentrate on the bad and ignore the good. It's a shame some tv company doesn't take on coverage of the whole tour, it would make much more compelling viewing than much of the "reality" trash we are force fed these days - and you never know it may unearth a few stars of the future at the same time.

Not The Same Old Boring Sunday Morning

2008-03-02T20:59:00.002Z

St Leonards Church, Bursledon, originally uploaded by Wurzel

We (Mrs W and I ) went to Church this morning.

Not something either of us do every week. Births weddings and funerals (or hatches matches and dispatches as out local vicar put it) is about it really. But we're getting married there soon so we felt we should put in an appearance.

A bit nervous, not wanting to stick out as the new kids (if mid 40s can still be classed as kids) we entered as unobtrusively as possible and took a pew. But the regulars clearly have an inbuilt radar for "first-timers" and several immediately descended on us with smiling welcomes and handshakes.

Both of us commented afterwards that we immediately felt at home and surprised ourselves by actually enjoying the whole thing. It had more of an air of a social gathering than a religious experience with no preaching or ramming a message down our throats. I even found myself joining in with hymns I didn't know, (somehow you just seem to know the tune). We were even given a little bunch of flowers each to celebrate mothers day (why I got one I'm not sure, either I wore the wrong type of Sunday best or mums and dads are equal in the eyes of the lord.). More handshakes, smiles and (politely declined) invites to attend the after-service tea and biscuits and it was all over. Maybe we'll be back again one day - I'd never commit to being a regular but it was far more enjoyable than I expected.

The strange thing is both of us spent the rest of the day feeling like we'd swallowed a happy pill - no mean feat as we'd hardly spoken to each other in February. Maybe there is something in it after all.

Game 39 - Dead As The Dodo

2008-02-22T16:55:00.002Z

So it looks like the Premier League's idea about playing a 39th game every season in a foreign country is virtually dead already.

Sepp Blatter, head of FIFA is against it.
The English FA (still, allegedly, in charge of the game in this country is against it)
The Australian FA is against it.
The Asian FA is against it
The US FA is against it.
Virtually every fan in England is against it.
Several club managers are against it.

Please forgive me while I just have a gentle chuckle to myself.

How can these money-grabbing morons that run the PL get things SO wrong time after time ? Yet still it is the most popular league in the world (based on attendances) . Makes you wonder quite how popular it could be if the people in charge of it actually knew what they were doing !

Underwhelmed

2008-02-19T11:59:00.007Z

I'm not even going to comment on Saints performance against Bristol Rovers on Saturday in which we seemingly conspired to get ourselves knocked out of the FA Cup. Yes I am, it was pathetic, inept, unprofessional, embarrassing, lazy, gutless - I could get out my thesaurus and find 100 more words but I think you get my drift. And all in front of a worldwide tv audience as well. Still, I suppose you can expect no more from a club in free-fall, with a board that doesn't have a clue which way to turn, to joint-caretaker-managers leaving everyone wondering who does what, to players who seemingly don't give a toss.

Yesterday tea-time the club took the first step back to normality. Having been linked with God knows how many names as manager over the past few weeks they have finally appointed their man. Dowie? Coleman? Adams? McLaren? Shearer? Nope, the man given the task of inspiring 1000s of disenchanted supporters and more importantly convincing a squad of unfit lazy players hat if they don't get their arses in gear they'll be playing in the old division 3 next season is none other than Nigel Pearson. A manager so experienced he has had a total of 37 games in charge at 3 different clubs in a 10 year period, winning just 9 of them. No offence, and I am all for giving the guy a chance but it's hardly the big name that everyone has been expecting. He's been given a 1 year rolling contract. This appointment to me sends out 3 possible signals.

The club is in such a poor state financially they have had to take the cheapest option.
The club has given up all ambition of returning to the big time and is happy to tread water for the foreseeable future.
The club is still expecting a take-over at any time and are assuming that any new owners will want to bring in their own man

I hope for the sake of te future of our club it's number 3 but I've a horrible feeling number 2 is the more realistic.